


The Play is the Thing

by FlashBastard



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 06:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20502767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlashBastard/pseuds/FlashBastard
Summary: Crowley runs into the Doctor and has a plan.





	The Play is the Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I learned a long time ago that when you're writing and you get to a point where you have to actually think to keep going, it's a good time to stop.

In May of 1613, the King's Men performed a play for King James I known as Cardenio. Aziraphale had been there to see the performance and it was one of his most favorite plays. He'd loved it very much. Sadly, that performance was the only performance of the play as the script had mysteriously disappeared. It was lost to time and all but forgotten. 

Crowley was walking down the street from the cafe that had Aziraphale's favorite seasonal treat to the bookshop to drop off said seasonal treat. He usually didn't pay much attention to his surroundings but it was very difficult to miss a rather large, blue police box sitting about halfway down an alley. Police boxes hadn't been a thing for many decades and they certainly never sat in alley ways. They'd been out in the open for anyone to find. 

With a snap of his fingers he miracled the treat from his hand to Aziraphale's desk so that he could investigate what was going on and not leave the angel waiting. He quite often forgot that asking questions is what had gotten him kicked out of Heaven in the first place. When a question arose in his head, he couldn't shake it out until he got an answer and right now there was a very big question running through his brain. 

"What the Heaven is this?" He asked no one in particular as he walked over to the police box. He ran his fingers along the edge of the door. It looked worn and brand new all at the same time. It was very strange. He looked the box up and down and stepped back a little to look at it fully, his back pressed against the alley wall as he did. 

"Oi! You there! What are you doing?" A voice called from the end of the alley and Crowley looked up. A ginger woman was coming toward him followed by a man in a blue suit and wearing....well those weren't the kind of shoes one usually wore with a suit. 

"Just appreciating the craftsmanship." Crowley said. He froze when he got a good look at the man behind the woman. Was that....his face? How was that possible? Crowley turned so he could look at them fully. 

"Why do you have my face?" The two of them said simultaneously. The woman just looked between the two of them, completely confused. 

"I believe I had this face first." Crowley said with some indignation. 

"Oh I doubt that." The man said. "Though, well. This particular face I've only had about a hundred years. Roughly. Perhaps. Lose track of time quite a lot." He shrugged. 

"Yes, I've definitely had this face longer. Somewhere in the ten thousand year mark or so." He'd lost track of how long it had been since his creation. He just knew how long it'd been since he'd sauntered vaguely downward. 

"Well, he's got you beat." The woman said. "But....is he you or...." 

"No. Or....are you?" The man pulled a strange device out of his coat pocket and it made a horrible warbling noise as he moved around Crowley. "Oh definitely not. Only one heart. Though.....definitely not human." 

"Demon. Name's Crowley. Nice to meet you." There was no missing the sarcasm in his tone. 

"I'm Donna, and this is the Doctor." The woman said. 

"Doctor of what?" Crowley asked as he raised an eyebrow. He looked at them over the tops of his sunglasses. They didn't seem to care that he wasn't human, after all. Donna just stared at his yellow eyes and swallowed a bit. 

"Just the Doctor." The man said. "This is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant." The Doctor said as he reached up and touched Crowley's hair. Crowley, of course, stepped back immediately. 

"Do you mind!" He came very close to just miracling them away somewhere else. 

"So this is what I would look like ginger." He said a bit wistfully. Crowley just rolled his eyes. 

"May I ask why there's a police box parked in this alley? I haven't seen them in...probably fifty years." Crowley turned his attention back to the blue box. 

"Should we tell him?" Donna asked as she looked at the Doctor. 

"Don't see as it can hurt. He's not human...." The Doctor thought for a moment as he looked at Crowley, who was looking rather annoyed at the two of them. "It's a time machine." The Doctor smiled. Was that really what he looked like when he smiled, Crowley thought. 

"A time machine?" Crowley asked a bit incredulous. "There's no such thing." He shook his head. 

"You're standing right next to it." Donna said and gestured to the box. 

"It's called a Tardis. Time and Relative Dimension in Space." The Doctor smiled. Crowley turned and looked at it again and then looked back at them. 

"It's an actual time machine." 

"It really is. Come on." The Doctor motioned forward and with a snap of his fingers the doors came open and the two of them stepped inside. 

"I can do that." Crowley shook his head and his eyes went very wide as he stepped inside, looking around at the room that was much larger than the police box. He turned around in a circle as he took in the room. "Dimentionally transcendental interior?" 

"I...well yes." The Doctor said, rather shocked that someone actually understood the science. 

"That is brilliant. Aziraphale could use something like this. His library would be infinite if he had the space." Crowley smiled as he thought about all the books that the angel could own. "Though I'd probably never see him again if that were the case." He chuckled. 

"There is a library in here. Somewhere." Donna commented and Crowley just nodded, still amazed by the room they were currently in. 

"So this is a time machine." It was said, not asked, as Crowley made his way over to the center console. 

"Time and space, yes." The Doctor nodded.

"I can stop time but actually being able to travel through time is something that none of us can do." Angels and Demons alike couldn't go back in time ever. 

"You can....stop time?" Donna asked and Crowley nodded. 

"It takes quite a bit out of me but I can. In a single room doesn't take as much as stopping time everywhere. That one...I had to sleep for a week after that." He sighed a little. The Doctor decided to just ignore that. He didn't believe in the idea of stopping time, after all. 

"Anywhere you want to go?" The Doctor asked Crowley. One ride never hurt anyone, especially since this particular person wasn't a human and seemed to understand the concepts better than anyone. 

"This can go literally anywhere in time?" Crowley was starting to get an idea. 

"Yes, absolutely anywhere." The Doctor nodded. 

"May 1613, court of King James I." Crowley smiled brightly. Now he had a plan. 

"That's rather....specific." Donna said with a little suspicion in her voice. 

"There's something that I lost back then that I'd like to get back is all." Crowley shrugged. 

"Consider it retrieved." The Doctor started to push buttons and pull levers on the center console. Crowley stepped back and watched him work. The whole process seemed a bit over dramatic to Crowley and Donna seemed to be in on the theatrics. Either way, he just enjoyed the ride, trying to ignore the various noises that were being made. When everything stopped, he stepped outside. They were in an alley again but this was different. He poked his head out of the alley and saw all of the appropriate attire. That could be easily faked, though. What couldn't be faked, though. That smell. London in the 17th century had a certain smell that Crowley knew very well. He got back into the Tardis and looked at the two of them. 

"Very well done." He nodded. 

"We'll need clothes, won't we?" Donna asked, starting to head toward the Tardis' closet. Crowley snapped his fingers and the three of them were suddenly standing there in period accurate attire. Both Donna and the Doctor just stared at him in shock. 

"Demon." Crowley said simply. He pulled a small, golden locket out of a pocket in his clothes and showed the picture to the two of them. "What was your name? Donna? Yes. I need you to find this man and distract him. He can't see either of us, especially him." He pointed to the Doctor. 

"Distractions are Donna's specialty." The Doctor said with a grin and winced when Donna smacked his arm. Crowley was beginning to like her. 

"Why do I need to do this?" Donna took another look at the picture just to get the face in her head. 

"I'm supposed to be somewhere else entirely right now. And if he sees this one." He pointed to the Doctor again. "It'll raise way too many questions the next time I actually see him." 

"Right. Find him, keep him busy. I can do that." Donna grinned and stepped out of the Tardis. 

"And what are we going to do?" The Doctor asked. 

"We need to get our hands on a script." Crowley nodded. "The script for the play that is currently being performed. It's not going to be easy." 

"That's what you've lost? This script?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow. 

"Well, I didn't lose it exactly, no. My friend is a very big fan of Shakespeare and this place that's being performed today, well....this is the only performance. And he wouldn't stop raving about the play for years. So I thought I could get the script...." 

"Why didn't you tell me it was Shakespeare?" The Doctor grinned. "Bill and I go way back." 

"You....call him Bill?" Crowley was the one to look shocked this time. 

"Absolutely. Helped him out of a bit of a mess a few years ago." The Doctor nodded. "I'll just ask him for a favor. No trouble at all." 

While Donna found and distracted Aziraphale, The Doctor and Crowley made their way to the area that could be considered backstage. The Doctor, of course, was welcomed by Shakespeare very quickly. 

"You've returned. And is this a new companion you have with you?" Shakespeare indicated Crowley. "You look familiar." He tilted his head. 

"Hamlet." Crowley said with a smile. 

"Ah yes. You and your fair friend. He was rather enthusiastic." Shakespeare nodded. 

"Still is, I'm afraid." Crowley said with a chuckle. 

"So, Doctor. What is it that I can do for you and your friend?" Shakespeare asked. The Doctor gestured to Crowley. 

"This play that you're putting on right now. My fair friend loves it very dearly, already. And it's not even yet the intermission. I was wondering if perhaps there were a way to get a copy of the script for him? He would treasure it." Crowley gave a slight bow. 

"For a friend of the Doctor, surely." There were three copies of the script, after all. He went over to a table with several props on it and found one of the copies, making sure that it was entirely in tact before handing it over to Crowley. "I'm very glad he enjoys it." 

"My friend is a very big fan of all of your work." Crowley nodded, taking the script as if it were the most precious thing in existence. 

"Thank you very much, Bill." The Doctor nodded. 

"It's the very least I could do after everything you did for me." Shakespeare gave a little bow, this time. 

"I should be getting back before he notices that I'm missing." Crowley said with a smile and Shakespeare nodded. 

"Of course. I do hope you enjoy the rest of the play." Shakespeare gave a little bow again. Crowley and the Doctor both nodded and then left, headed back to the Tardis. 

Though Donna had been busy keeping Aziraphale distracted, she'd kept an eye on where The Doctor and Crowley had gone backstage. When she saw them leaving, she made up some kind of excuse and then went to join them. 

"Did you get it?" She asked. Crowley held up the script and smiled. They all went back into the Tardis and then headed back to what was supposed to be the present time. The problem with the Tardis was that it didn't always land when and where you wanted it to. Crowley was supposed to only have been gone a few minutes but he was actually gone two weeks. Fortunately, him disappearing randomly wasn't completely unusual. Another snap of his fingers and he was back in his normal clothing. 

"Angel. I've got something for you." Crowley said as he entered the bookshop. 

"And what could you possibly have for me?" Aziraphale took his glasses off and smiled up at Crowley from his desk. Crowley walked over and set the script down on top of the book Aziraphale had been reading. Aziraphale just stared at it for a long moment. 

"Do you like it?" Crowley asked, suddenly a bit nervous. 

"I...but how did you.....it's been lost....." Aziraphale's brain wasn't sending information to his mouth correctly. 

"It's a long story and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't believe me anyway." Crowley said with a grin. Aziraphale got to his feet and enveloped Crowley in a hug. Crowley barely managed to keep them standing. 

"It's absolutely perfect." Aziraphale said with his face buried against Crowley's shoulder. Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale and smiled.


End file.
